Illustrative photo by Getty Images
- When you think about marriage, you definitely think people got married because they love their partner, not because it was for financial stability.
- Some people marry for love, but have you ever wondered what it’s like to marry for money?
- Women who married for money share the reasons for their decisions.
“I learned to love it”
Mélanie*, 45, met her husband in 2005 when she was 28. She was attracted to him, but says she didn’t have romantic feelings for him at first. She was happy to go on dates and be spoiled by him until he asked to go exclusive.
“I was studying for my master’s degree at the time and didn’t have a lot of money. It was nice to have someone to take care of me and not have to eat noodles from two minutes every night,” she said.
“He asked me to be his girlfriend and said he only wanted to be with me and that he loved me. I said I loved him too, but I was saying it in a like “you take care of me and I’m grateful to you”. Then we moved in together, and it was even better than before. I was, and still am, well cared for. He respects me like no one else. never did. He supports me emotionally and financially. He’s my person.”
They got married a few years later, and now she loves him very much, but it took a while to get there. She says it didn’t start out as a conventional marriage, but she’s happy she made the decision to stay with him. “Money was a big reason to marry him, yes, but I also knew he was good for me. I knew I had a friend for life, if nothing else.”
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“He made me feel guilty for everything”
Nomzamo knew her ex-husband was rich before they got married, but she didn’t realize exactly how rich she was. “I loved him, but I was also seeing someone else at the time who I had stronger feelings for, and [my now husband] told me to choose and told me that he could take care of me and that I would not miss anything, ”says the 39-year-old man.
“I grew up quite poor, and although I had a good job, I was also living paycheck to paycheck and supporting my family at the same time. I thought if I married this man , I wouldn’t have to worry so much. My family also added some pressure because they wanted me to marry a rich and successful man.”
Nomzamo married her ex-husband, and from almost the very beginning she was questioned about how much she spent. “He would check our bank statements and say, ‘Oh I see you bought breakfast today’, or ask me why I put R1000 in petrol when it only cost me R500 a week to go to work, for example,” she says. . “It got so bad that I became anxious about spending money and stopped eating because I didn’t want to be constantly asked about it.”
Nomzamo divorced her husband after five years of marriage and says she will never make the same mistake again. “I don’t think marrying for money is a bad thing, but I think marrying someone without knowing exactly who they are is a bad thing. Next time I won’t rush into marriage. “
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“I was the girl on the side and I became a woman”
“I met him in a club, and I knew he was rich because he showed his credit card and bought expensive bottles all night in this fancy club,” said Innocence*, 35.
“I was 27 when we met, and that night we met in his hotel room. He lived in London but was in Cape Town for work, so we went to his hotel, and it was amazing. The next morning he told me that he was married. At first I felt betrayed and I was angry, but he told me that he was upset and that he still wanted to leave,” says Innocence.
The following week was a whirlwind of dates at fancy restaurants and expensive gifts before he had to leave to go home. “It was very sad, but we kept in touch, and I saw him every few months when he needed to come here. We became very close during those months, even with the long distance, but I I was hesitant to continue this relationship with a married man who was living overseas.”
Innocence broke off the relationship, but her husband begged her for a month to take him back. She eventually relented and they both spent the next two years traveling back and forth between London and Cape Town to see each other while he divorced.
“I’ve always been attracted to him and had very strong feelings for him, but I think I only really started to like him after we got engaged. When I found out he was to me and only to me. He’s very sweet, supportive and kind, and I couldn’t have asked for a better husband,” she said.